Preparing for my daughter's first birthday. A few questions?

I would recommend not making a big deal about this. This is true for any toddler birthday (she won't have a clue what's going on, and will be overwhelmed by crowds and fuss -- you aren't 'denying her anything by not having a big party), but especially true if you've got so much else going on. You don't need a theme or a long list of guests to invite. A couple of weeks before her birthday, call grandma and grandma and maybe your best friend, and invite them over for cake and pictures.